Own It!

I have been a children's pastor at churches for a good chunk of my adult life at this point. It is always an interesting dynamic going into a new church. (This past week has been great, I am just running on information overload.) You never know what it is you are coming into honestly. I have been to places where people have thought you were trying to take over the church because you asked them to improve on weaknesses. I have been places where people were so excited you were there that you wonder how bad it was before. You see God may have called me to lead a children's ministry but I am not there to own it. God may have called a pastor to a church to  

shepherd it, but he is not there to own it. As far as the chain of ownership goes in the church, both pastors and associate pastors are low on the organizational chart as far as ownership.

I worked for one pastor who truly thought he owned the church. He would never have admitted it. He struggled with many different things. It was usually about him. It was usually about how he wanted to do stuff. I don't remember once him saying "let’s pray and find out what God would have us do". It wasn't even that he was a micromanager (some people would have and did call him that) but it felt a lot like he made it about him. He would tell the staff on a regular basis we were not there for our careers but just to serve him. It really was hard because I am totally on board with serving my pastor. I love the Elisha and Elijah principle from 2 Kings 2. Elisha would not leave Elijah's side. He wanted to be there for his pastor or mentor. He wouldn't leave him. Pastor's that make it about them don't get this principle because it is about them. Pastors lead the church they don't own the church. It isn't about them. 

Really, truthfully, only God owns a church. It all has to come from him. You want to follow the vision placed into the pastor’s heart by the Holy Spirit. As a kid's pastor, I want to lead that ministry of the church to follow that vision. Yet, even when the pastor has a vision instilled in his heart, he doesn't own the church. He shouldn't even be second on that list. Truthfully, the Pastor is there to lead and serve not own. 

The owners of the church are the people God has put in that body. A church can never hire enough staff to run a church with paid volunteers. Paid Volunteers?  That makes NO sense. Just like anything that you own, you have to work it. It is part of owning it. Yeah, you hire the pastors to keep it but that's like buying a restaurant and never washing a dish. It is like buying a new car and never changing the oil. It is like joining a co-op and never being a part of the op. If it is your church, you have to own it. You need to take care of it too. Be a part of the system. Teach something. Serve somewhere or someone. Invite people to be a part. Lead a ministry. It is your church. You need to own it. 

I know the idea of people owning the church may not set well with people. God has called us to be the Bride of Christ. I don't know about you but my wife has just as much ownership of my stuff as I do. Paul goes into this in Ephesians 5. So yes, you own the church. I tell kids all the time, "You know so many more kids than I could ever meet". You can jump in and do so much more than one pastor if everyone did something. Own it. God has given you a talent, use it. It really is your church given to you by God. Don't let it go to waste. 

I've been blessed

Well, yesterday was my official last day as the Kid's Pastor at First Assembly of God in SanAntonio, TX. I am moving on to be the Children's Pastor at Trinity Church in Lubbock. We have had a great 5 1/2 years in SanAntonio. We have seen kid's get saved, filled with the Holy Spirit, and called into ministry. We have made life long friends that we will always consider family. I have seen my own kids grow in every way possible. It has been a great place for us. I am looking forward to what God is going to do with us in Lubbock but it has been a great time to celebrate what we did here.  Over the years, I have left a couple of jobs. I have never felt as special leaving a place as I have this time. 

We have partied (2 different ones). We have been honored (allowed to share in "Big Church"  a couple times about what God is doing). I have cried (mostly when I talked with my leadership team and friends). I have smiled reminiscing. I have played golf (A couple different times too). I have been asked to dinner by numerous people. Visited my favorite donut place in Austin with my closest friends. My family has been treated well. My Pastor, Wayne Clark said, "This is something we should celebrate". So, we have celebrated. 

How often do staff pastors leave a church? It is probably more often than what it should be but in instances where God is truly moving someone away it should be celebrated. I think too often we take things personally when it really isn't about us. My pastor could have taken this move as an insult that another church would talk to me or that I have would even want to leave.  He could have just said, "Thanks for your service, you got a week". He didn't. He has been gracious and truly excited about our opportunity. I have had pastors act in different ways depending on the situation. 

When God does something in our lives that creates transition it should be celebrated. It means God is doing something new. I think about the Angels that first Christmas, they knew something new was happening and let the world know about it.  I think about how Jesus started his ministry with changing water into wine at a party. I think about all the times that God did something in the Bible and it was during a celebration time for his people. We have to realize that it isn't always about us. 

When transitions happen it is hard because change is hard. It helps when we celebrate those transitions though. It helps when we realize God is in control and has a plan. Sometimes we have to be reminded it isn't all about us. Thanks Pastor Clark for understanding this, teaching this, and living this. 

Keep Your Joy, Don't Punch Your Cousin!

Periodically in Kid's ministry, you think of a personal story that totally fits the lesson that you are trying to teach. You tell it to the kids, and they only remember the funny parts of the story. I know some kids heard the main idea. I know some missed it but it was a message that I needed to be reminded of and a message many kids need to hear and learn. I felt like I needed to blog about it this week.

As a kid, I had to be 9 or 10 years old, we would go to my grandparents farm in East Texas for holidays. It was and still is one of my favorite places to visit. I am truly blessed to have grandparents still alive and able to be examples for us and my kids. Like any kid, we have cousins that we treat like our siblings. Sometimes, even with our siblings, you can only handle them in doses. I am sure their are people in my family that feel this way about me too. Well, this cousin of mine was just being annoying for the entire week of Christmas. As I remember, she tattled on me for stuff. She was always bragging about how stuff she had was better than what I had. It was non stop for the entire time I was there. As a kid, you really have no way to just get away. There was no, let me get in the car and drive away. I don't remember what the straw was that broke the camel's back but I do remember the result. I walked into my Grandmother's formal living room. Held my hands behind my back. I said, "guess what, I have a present for you". She walked close and I turned and laid a right hook across her left cheek. It was the only time in my life, I ever sucker punched anyone. It was the only time I ever hit a girl, other than one of my sisters. All I knew, was craziness ensued. My Aunt ran to her daughter as she yelled at me. She said something about previous health problems. My grandmother just chuckled because she had seen my patience wearing thin. My mom gave me the don't hit girls speech. It was the first time I ever got in trouble but not really. It was a crazy event in my life. 

I told the kids that I had 3 things they needed to learn from that story. First, never hit a girl. Second, never sucker punch anyone.  Several of the kids only remembered that I punched my cousin in the face. The point was the third thing I talked about. The third thing had to do with shepherds and joy and Christmas. Well,  Luke 2 retells the night of the first Christmas and the great scene the shepherds experienced. They got done and they were not going to let anything keep them from experiencing the joy of seeing Jesus that night. How often do we let things through the holidays take away our joy. Family members that we get to much of, busy-ness of the season, or different strained circumstances can keep us from being joyful. As a kid,  I let my aggravation with my cousin get to me and I lost my cool and my joy that holiday. This year, don't do that. Jesus is good news that brings great joy. It is a joy that is bigger than your annoying family members. It is bigger than the guy that just cut you off trying to find a parking spot at the mall. It is a joy that everyone needs. Don't miss it because you are watching sheep. Don't miss it because someone takes it from you. Don't miss Christ's joy for anything. 

Kid's Church Altar Times

We started our series in Kid's Church yesterday on Thanksgiving. We talked about being thankful before God did something. Told the story in Daniel 2. We talked about how we control our decisions but God controls our situations. I told them we can trust God in all situations because he is in control. We need to thank God because he is always going to do us right. Then, I asked the kids if they had something they were praying for like a unsaved family member or friend. I had them respond for prayer to give thanks for things they believed God was going to do. We had 20-25 kids respond. They came filing out of the bleachers and I told the rest of the kids if they had friends down they could come pray for them too. We had about 40 kids in the altar praying for the next 20 minutes. There is something special seeing kids praying for other kids. I know in many situations, "Altar" time is lost because of time or small groups or many other reasons. Altar times are important to the spiritual growth of kids and the church in general. 

Salvation, healing, baptism in the Holy Spirit, forgiveness, and any number of other supernatural things can happen in an altar setting. I see it happen at camp every year. I see it in our kids church all the time. Altar times teach kids three major things though. 

1. It is okay to pray for someone. 

I try and specifically tell kids that worship time is between them and God. So often, kids will start hanging or hugging on each other during worship songs. We tell them all the time that isn't the time for that. That time is designed for them to sing to God themselves corporately. If we don't create altar times for kids then they never understand the importance of laying hands on someone as they pray for somebody. 

2. It creates a community.

It is impossible to get mad at someone when you have to turn around and pray for them. We want to create communities inside our church. Altar times where kids pray for kids can create that. Many times, kids will let barriers down to pray for others. Kid's that may have thought no one cares about them will completely change their minds when someone prays for them. 

3. It teaches intercession. 

It is important to create times where kids are not rushed through a prayer. Times to cry. Times to wait on the Lord. Create times to sit in the Lord's presence. Way to often our prayers for meals and even in service for offering or service opening become robotic. Intercession becomes lost on kids in this instant gratification society. 

Many times pastors are bad about saying something is important to them but never take valuable time to put toward it. I believe kids innately understand this. My own kids understand they are important because I take time for them. The kids in our kids church will pick up on that too. We must find times to allow the altar time for kids or it will be lost on this generation and that would be a shame. 

The Thing That Struck Me Most This Weekend

This weekend had so much going on I really had a hard time writing about it. Friday night, we had a great "Festifall".  We moved everything outside. It was a great, the best attended Halloween event since I have been at 1st. Saturday, I competed in my first Crossfit Competition, the Power Output Challenge. It was so much stinking fun. I need to work on rope climbs but I did come in 6th in one of the events. It is so much fun to be apart of that community. Sunday, we had a great group of kids and Kid's Church ran smooth. Ate lunch with some friends that were here visiting from out of town. Then, Sunday afternoon I attended the funeral of one of our former staff members. That funeral struck me most today as I contemplated my weekend. 

Pastor Cecil was our visitation pastor when I moved to SanAntonio. Since he has been sick the last few weeks I have thought of the different times we spoke. I always really appreciated his wisdom in staff meetings. I knew when I spoke in Bible Study if he complimented me it really meant something. I won't ever forget teaching in Adult Bible Study and him looking at Opal during my closing prayer and telling her to turn her phone off because it rang. 

I was struck yesterday though not by my memories, they are very special to me. I was struck by the heritage his family presented at the funeral. His granddaughter spoke of ministry and his sons spoke of his relationship with Christ. If anyone ever says generations are not effected by the witness of parents and grandparents they are truly mistaken. I knew Pastor Cecil lived it. His kids and grandkids knew that too. They knew when they needed prayer they could call him because he had a direct line to God. They understood when he spoke, he understood the will of God.

I pray my kids know that of me. I pray my children know the moment struggles come they can come to me for prayer. I pray that my family sees me as a light. I hope that when I am older I can look at the generations of my family and they see me as a real follower of Christ. I think that's the important legacy for anyone. Thanks Pastor Cecil for being such an example even after you reached your goal, heaven. 

Not The Conversation I Thought I Would Have In A Duggout

I have coached youth sports for years. I coached kid's basketball before my son was old enough to play. Honestly, I enjoy it. I get to hang out with kids. I love coaching my son's teams, too. I have always been sitting on the bench or in the dugout. I have wrote on this blog about how I love just playing catch. Well, sitting there with kids can create great opportunities not just as a parent but as a Christian. 

Sitting in a dugout with a group of kids you hear many different conversations. You have many different conversations. You try your best to keep it about baseball. Consistently telling kids to keep their heads in the game. It is inevitable though, you will have conversations about farts, TV shows, stupid pranks, and just about any other topic 10 year old boys live for. I had an unexpected conversation the other day in the dugout that wasn't anything normal.

It was the top of the 2nd inning and our team was in the field. We have 12 players on our team so each inning 3 of our boys have to sit on the bench. I was sitting talking to one of our boys about keeping his head down and stepping towards the pitch as he swung his bat through the strike zone. He told me that he has had a problem with that for a while and that his Dad used to work with him by putting a bat behind his foot. Then, he explained that he hasn't worked on that since his Dad passed away last winter. I was caught off guard. We talked for a few minutes. I was on the verge of tears. He told me where he went that day. He spoke about being brave. He told me everything that happened. I told him if he needs to talk then feel free anytime. The inning ended. I went back to coach third base and we didn't talk about it anymore. The thing is, he knows I will talk with him. He feels safe talking to me. This isn't one of my kids from church. This is a kid that may never walk through the doors of my church. I still get to be a Christian influence in his life. I get to be his coach. 

It is important that we find places for us to speak into kid's lives. It is important that we put ourselves into situations where we can be Christian influences in kid's lives. Coaching gives me that. Coaching gives me an opportunity to create a witness to kids outside of the four walls of our church. I can mentor kids that have nothing to do with our church. It is important that you find places to speak into peoples lives that aren't from your church. It is important that as parents, kids pastors, or even Christians that we put ourselves into places where we can speak hope and life into kids. I want God to use me not just as a Kid's pastor but as a Christian that can set an example for others. 

Why We Do What We Do.... Small Groups (Part 2)

I remember being 9 or 10 and sitting in my Sunday School class in Houston. The teacher was talking about how they had just got a dog. She started talking about how cute it was and all kinds of stuff. I think she was just telling us a story. She didn't know that my dog had died that week. It may have been a few weeks later but recently my dog had died. I remember bawling like a baby. That Sunday School teacher, bless her heart, didn't know what happened. I do remember her staying after class and talking to me and praying with me about my dog. It meant more than she will probably ever know. That couple were awesome Sunday School teachers and I am still a fan of theirs. They did small groups for kids the way they should be done. 

As a kid, you don't realize you are going to small groups. Really, I don't think many adults realize it either. We attended Sunday school. We showed up for Royal Rangers. They were just things that we did. We had a few boys in our class. Every once and a while we would go on a campout or have a field trip. We did sword drills (races to see who could find scripture the fastest). We quoted memory verses for candy. We heard Bible stories. We found stuff on the maps in the back of our Bibles. We looked in the concordance for different scriptures. We asked questions. We prayed for each other. Small groups taught us what it means to be a church family. Our small groups should be a lot like that still. 

We have two different kinds of small groups at our church, Sunday School and Clubs. I know these are traditional. Many churches won't do them because they are "traditional". I know that if they are done right they can be effective. You don't think so, come visit. Each small group has a different purpose in our ministry. Sunday school is a just that discipleship for kids. Royal Rangers and Mpact Girls are mentoring/ gender specific ministry for our children. They both are needed to have a balanced kid's ministry. These are the ministries that are for our kids. They are the ministries where kids are able to go beyond basic stuff. They are able to ask questions and do hands on stuff. It isn't kid's church where that is designed for visitors. 

Sunday School classes are designed to be age appropriate. If it is a preschooler it should be hands on stuff. They learn from playing with stuff and short lessons. If it is an older kid it should be discussion and reading. They are emergent readers in older elementary. Kids should be challenged to get into their Bibles and find stuff. This is why we do JBQ and Bible Study classes during this same time. We want our kids to know certain things when they go to Student Ministry. This is only possible through a small group discipleship. 

Royal Rangers and Mpact Girls ministries are for mentoring kids. Everyone needs someone of the same gender to look up to. I can think of different Rangers Leaders/ Commanders that I worked with as a kid they were big influences on me growing up. I know the commanders I have now are the same to my church kids today. They teach things about being young men of God and our ladies share about being young women of God. No where else can guys be guys in a class. It is important for each gender to have this. I have said and will continue to say, "Badges don't matter, mentoring boys and girls that is why we do this." It amazes to see kids come in excited about these classes. It isn't about camping or crowning. It is about the leaders we have connecting with our kids.

I know many feel these programs are dated or you may not see have the logistics to do them. I can tell you this, if you are going to be effective as an entire children's ministry then you will have small groups that have both of these functions. Our leaders and parents have bought into these programs and that is why they are successful. We still have about 70% of our Sunday morning kids attend Sunday school. We also have larger attendance on Wednesday for our Clubs than we do for both services on Sunday. 

I have to evaluate these ministries differently than Kid's Church. Sunday School, I want to keep the attendance a high percentage of my Kid's Church kids. I want to see kids excited about learning scripture in these classes. I want to see relationships being built with leaders of my clubs. I want to see stuff happening outside of the classroom too. Relationships may be built in classes but solidified outside of the classes. I should see numbers on Wednesday larger than my Sunday numbers. Wednesday nights, I don't have split family kids that miss every other week gone one weekend or the next. These are the classes for our church kids. They are designed for that. If you are a parent and only bringing your kids to Kid's church you are missing out on these other valuable times. Small groups are for everyone but if we just expose our kids to a main service we are limiting our ability to partner with parents in the discipleship process of a child.