My Love Hate Relationship

Certain things in this world can be very frustrating but you still love them. They can make you angry but you can't imagine your life without them. You want swear them off, but you couldn't go a day minus their greatness. Today, I want to proclaim my "Love/Hate Relationship".  I have a "Love/ Hate" Relationship with socks.  Yes socks!

First of all, I love wearing socks. They keep your shoes from stinking. They absorb all that nastiness for you. In the winter time, they keep my feet warm. They don't help Margaret to much, as soon as the temperature is below 80 she starts putting her ice cold feet on my legs. They help me stay warm. The right pair of socks keep you comfortable on a run.  A colorful pair of socks can be a great fashion statement. The wrong pair of socks can be a great laugh (usually at some old guys expense). Socks are great!

Then, I find myself hating socks. I don't know wear I lose sock singles. Is it the dryer? Is it my kids' drawer? Do they disintegrate like a communication to Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible? Who knows? I do know that I have bought a slew of running socks over the past couple of years and I am down to 3, none of which match. On Sunday morning, I go to church early. I usually get dressed in the dark and try to let my wife sleep. Like my running socks, my dark color socks never have a match. I usually end up grumbling, dumping the drawer of socks out on the bed, turning the light on, and starting my day off frustrated. Even if I match them up when before I put them in the drawer, at some point they get separated. Are socks like characters in "Toy Story" as long as we are not looking they move around and have lives all their own?

I went to buy socks last night. I know that I have small feet for an average adult. I am 5'6". It would be stupid if I wore a size 10 shoe. I would look like Peggy Hill or Fred Flintstone. The problem is they usually only have one size adult sock, 6-12. How do they expect a size 6 person (I am an 8 1/2) wear the same size sock as a size 12 person? You end up with this crazy sock pleat sticking out of the back of your shoe. It is really frustrating. So, I can either go buy socks in the women's section (which always incorporate some sort of pink) or I can go buy them in the boys section (which almost always incorporates some sort of super hero). Ugh! Why do I feel like I must always wear socks!?!

It is a true "Love/Hate Relationship". I love to wear socks, but I am so frustrated with you right now socks. I am glad it is flip flop season.

Leading From Ahead

A great game all of us have played with kids one time or another is follow the leader. You walk around with your arms out like a bird. You hop around like a frog. You make funny noises to be what ever it is that you want the kids to do. It is fun.  The point is as kids are doing that, they are following the decisions you make. You can't play follow the leader and be behind them. You can't tell them to act like a bird after they are already acting like monkeys. Anything you lead, you must learn to lead from the front to be effective. This doesn't mean you have to be the guy up front talking. It does mean you need to make the decisions where the people you are following are going and what they look like. 

First, you have to decide what you want things to look like. In our families, do you want your kids to be athletes? Bible scholars? Nerds? or whatever. You lead them by creating places for them to love those things. I have a twelve year old daughter, she won't get her head out of a book. My wife wanted to pass down the love of reading to her so as a toddler she read to her a lot. If you want ministry to be fun for kids then you create avenues for fun in your ministry. If you want to create community you create opportunities for community. Leading ahead means you dictate what you want it to be. 

All to often, I see people that allow situations and circumstances to dictate where they lead. You lead from behind in those situation. Leading from behind in your family is a problem because it allows your children to dictate your mood and who they become. It drives me crazy to hear parents always yelling "NO" to their toddlers. Tell them what you want them to do. You leave a breakable trinket on the coffee table, it is your fault. You are creating a problem. Tell your child, "play with this". Move the item some place else. 

In your ministry, when you constantly allow situations to make you create new rules or policies then you are leading from behind. You can't allow a one time situation dictate policy. The more we create rules and policies that we have to dictate to our kids the more we lose the opportunity for kids to step up and do the right thing on their own. I am not saying go ruleless. I am saying create ministry that kids can succeed at managing themselves. Keep them interested. Keep them engaged. Keep them worshipping and the rules that you need followed will happen. Lead kids don't dictate rules. 

Do They Get It?

I spent the last couple of weeks at Family and Kid's Camp. Had a blast. God moved in the lives of so many kids this week. It was great. It is always so cool to see how God can move in so many unique ways at camp. That is a different blog than this one today. It will probably be next week actually. A couple from our church came and served with us at camp this week. They were wanting to come because their daughter was going to have her first camp experience. Their daughter has "special needs". She is great. I love this kid. She walks into kid's church like any other kid. She sings the songs and does the motions. She listens more attentively than almost any kid I have in Kid's Church. I was excited she was going to get to experience camp with us. 

Last night, as our kids were praying in the altar, her mom came up to me and asked if I could explain to her daughter about Jesus. She didn't think as much as she had heard about Jesus and spiritual things that she gets it. I called the little girl over and asked her some questions, mostly got "yeah" answers. It was sweet. I never got a real long answer from her. She never really gave me a long answer to any open ended questions you ask kids to see if they get it. (What did Jesus do? Who is Jesus? How do you get to Heaven? etc.) I prayed with her when I was done talking. Her Mom sat there as I was talking to her just listening intently. 

The Mom and I sat and talked for a few minutes after I prayed with her daughter. Her concern, "Does my daughter get it? Does she truly understand all this stuff?" I know this kid, I have seen her worship. She listens to me speak every Sunday. Does she truly get all the concepts of faith? I don't know, but do any of us really ever truly get it. I know so many Biblical concepts that I still shake my head and want to ask Jesus about when we get to Heaven. 

I do know that Romans 10: 17 says, "Faith comes from hearing the message. And the message that is heard is the word of Christ." I know she hears but does she understand? I believe on her level she does. I know that we all have different capacities for learning. I believe our faith and our understanding should coincide with that. In her case she may not cognitively get every abstract topic that goes along with spiritual understanding but if I ask her, "Do you love Jesus?" Her answer is, "Yes".  

All this for me to say this, I never thought about parents with special needs kids wondering, does my kid get it. I never considered the questions of some of these parents who look at their sweet children and wonder will they get it enough to spend eternity in Heaven. I can imagine them being concerned about physical well being and educational ability. It just hit me like a ton of bricks though as I heard this Mom concerned for the spiritual understanding of her kid. Let me put it like this, if you are telling them about Jesus, reading God's word to them, and taking them to church to hear God loves them, then yes they get it. They get it in their own special way. God loves them just as much and probably more then any other kids out there. To all parent's of special needs kids, pick your chin up God loves you and your child and wants you to know that he loves them too.