Not The Conversation I Thought I Would Have In A Duggout

I have coached youth sports for years. I coached kid's basketball before my son was old enough to play. Honestly, I enjoy it. I get to hang out with kids. I love coaching my son's teams, too. I have always been sitting on the bench or in the dugout. I have wrote on this blog about how I love just playing catch. Well, sitting there with kids can create great opportunities not just as a parent but as a Christian. 

Sitting in a dugout with a group of kids you hear many different conversations. You have many different conversations. You try your best to keep it about baseball. Consistently telling kids to keep their heads in the game. It is inevitable though, you will have conversations about farts, TV shows, stupid pranks, and just about any other topic 10 year old boys live for. I had an unexpected conversation the other day in the dugout that wasn't anything normal.

It was the top of the 2nd inning and our team was in the field. We have 12 players on our team so each inning 3 of our boys have to sit on the bench. I was sitting talking to one of our boys about keeping his head down and stepping towards the pitch as he swung his bat through the strike zone. He told me that he has had a problem with that for a while and that his Dad used to work with him by putting a bat behind his foot. Then, he explained that he hasn't worked on that since his Dad passed away last winter. I was caught off guard. We talked for a few minutes. I was on the verge of tears. He told me where he went that day. He spoke about being brave. He told me everything that happened. I told him if he needs to talk then feel free anytime. The inning ended. I went back to coach third base and we didn't talk about it anymore. The thing is, he knows I will talk with him. He feels safe talking to me. This isn't one of my kids from church. This is a kid that may never walk through the doors of my church. I still get to be a Christian influence in his life. I get to be his coach. 

It is important that we find places for us to speak into kid's lives. It is important that we put ourselves into situations where we can be Christian influences in kid's lives. Coaching gives me that. Coaching gives me an opportunity to create a witness to kids outside of the four walls of our church. I can mentor kids that have nothing to do with our church. It is important that you find places to speak into peoples lives that aren't from your church. It is important that as parents, kids pastors, or even Christians that we put ourselves into places where we can speak hope and life into kids. I want God to use me not just as a Kid's pastor but as a Christian that can set an example for others. 

Why We Do What We Do.... Small Groups (Part 2)

I remember being 9 or 10 and sitting in my Sunday School class in Houston. The teacher was talking about how they had just got a dog. She started talking about how cute it was and all kinds of stuff. I think she was just telling us a story. She didn't know that my dog had died that week. It may have been a few weeks later but recently my dog had died. I remember bawling like a baby. That Sunday School teacher, bless her heart, didn't know what happened. I do remember her staying after class and talking to me and praying with me about my dog. It meant more than she will probably ever know. That couple were awesome Sunday School teachers and I am still a fan of theirs. They did small groups for kids the way they should be done. 

As a kid, you don't realize you are going to small groups. Really, I don't think many adults realize it either. We attended Sunday school. We showed up for Royal Rangers. They were just things that we did. We had a few boys in our class. Every once and a while we would go on a campout or have a field trip. We did sword drills (races to see who could find scripture the fastest). We quoted memory verses for candy. We heard Bible stories. We found stuff on the maps in the back of our Bibles. We looked in the concordance for different scriptures. We asked questions. We prayed for each other. Small groups taught us what it means to be a church family. Our small groups should be a lot like that still. 

We have two different kinds of small groups at our church, Sunday School and Clubs. I know these are traditional. Many churches won't do them because they are "traditional". I know that if they are done right they can be effective. You don't think so, come visit. Each small group has a different purpose in our ministry. Sunday school is a just that discipleship for kids. Royal Rangers and Mpact Girls are mentoring/ gender specific ministry for our children. They both are needed to have a balanced kid's ministry. These are the ministries that are for our kids. They are the ministries where kids are able to go beyond basic stuff. They are able to ask questions and do hands on stuff. It isn't kid's church where that is designed for visitors. 

Sunday School classes are designed to be age appropriate. If it is a preschooler it should be hands on stuff. They learn from playing with stuff and short lessons. If it is an older kid it should be discussion and reading. They are emergent readers in older elementary. Kids should be challenged to get into their Bibles and find stuff. This is why we do JBQ and Bible Study classes during this same time. We want our kids to know certain things when they go to Student Ministry. This is only possible through a small group discipleship. 

Royal Rangers and Mpact Girls ministries are for mentoring kids. Everyone needs someone of the same gender to look up to. I can think of different Rangers Leaders/ Commanders that I worked with as a kid they were big influences on me growing up. I know the commanders I have now are the same to my church kids today. They teach things about being young men of God and our ladies share about being young women of God. No where else can guys be guys in a class. It is important for each gender to have this. I have said and will continue to say, "Badges don't matter, mentoring boys and girls that is why we do this." It amazes to see kids come in excited about these classes. It isn't about camping or crowning. It is about the leaders we have connecting with our kids.

I know many feel these programs are dated or you may not see have the logistics to do them. I can tell you this, if you are going to be effective as an entire children's ministry then you will have small groups that have both of these functions. Our leaders and parents have bought into these programs and that is why they are successful. We still have about 70% of our Sunday morning kids attend Sunday school. We also have larger attendance on Wednesday for our Clubs than we do for both services on Sunday. 

I have to evaluate these ministries differently than Kid's Church. Sunday School, I want to keep the attendance a high percentage of my Kid's Church kids. I want to see kids excited about learning scripture in these classes. I want to see relationships being built with leaders of my clubs. I want to see stuff happening outside of the classroom too. Relationships may be built in classes but solidified outside of the classes. I should see numbers on Wednesday larger than my Sunday numbers. Wednesday nights, I don't have split family kids that miss every other week gone one weekend or the next. These are the classes for our church kids. They are designed for that. If you are a parent and only bringing your kids to Kid's church you are missing out on these other valuable times. Small groups are for everyone but if we just expose our kids to a main service we are limiting our ability to partner with parents in the discipleship process of a child. 

Why We Do What We Do (Part 1)

Being intentional is super important. So often, we do stuff because it is what we have always done. We do stuff just because with no real apparent reason. It hurts our effectiveness. Every once and a while, we need to really sit back and evaluate all the aspects of our ministry. Make sure we know why we do what we do. We have 3 major ministries in our Kid's Ministry and each has a very important role. Over the next couple of posts, I want to share why we are doing what we are doing. Each has a reason. Each has a purpose. You may look at the stuff we do on the surface and say some of it is old fashioned. I know we do them for a reason. 

The first thing we do is Kid's Church. Kid's Church has a couple of very significant purposes. When I began in Kid's Ministry, my view of it was much different. I was confronted by a friend that attended another church who could not understand why you would want to have church without your entire family (I run into the exact opposite opinion of many people now). I remember at that point in my career responding to her by saying, if my Pastor wants to talk about sex or adultery it makes that sermon much easier without 6 year olds asking questions. That was never more evident than the time when a previous pastor I worked for asked why none of our families were coming back to church on Sunday nights. I remember talking to several of my leaders and encouraging them to join us for church on Sunday evenings. I told them, "It will be a great experience! You can worship with your kid" That of course was the night my pastor was talking about the end times and shared that the AntiChrist would be Pervert. I hear the question behind me, "What's a pervert?" The last time that family came on a Sunday night. Over the years, my reasons for doing Kid's church have evolved and become more defined than protection from a potty mouthed senior pastor. Kid's Church has a two real focuses and we try to plan them with these things in mind. 

First, we want to create an environment for the visitor. I want to make Kid's church a place Kid's want to return. We play games. We sing songs with fun motions. We tell Bible stories in fun ways. We tell jokes. We act silly. In planning kid's church, I want it to be a place where kids want to come back every week. I have to remember this is not where we are mentoring. I have to remember this is not where we are discipling. We are being evangelistic in our thinking. I want kid's to be able to bring their friends and know they have a chance to meet Jesus for the first time any week they come. Kid's church is for the visitor. I want that kid to tell his parent, I want to come back next week or I'll miss something huge. The thing is, if the visitor wants to come back and sit in a room full of kids he doesn't know yet then your regular kids will want to be back too. If you are creating an environment that is fun and exciting for the visitor then you will have less discipline issues because everyone will be having a great time. Kid's Church is for the visitor. 

The Second reason we do Kid's Church is to teach kids how to worship. Since kid's in most churches have been banished from the sanctuary with the decline of Sunday night worship and creation of Sunday night programming for kid's ministry, they rarely worship with parents. Kid's church is our opportunity to explain why we raise our hands. We can teach the importance of losing distractions by closing our eyes. Kid's can learn that worship is a time between them and God. That as they sing songs to God, he truly is pleased with that. In classes and small groups you rarely have the resources available to teach worship adequately. In Kid's church, I can teach these things and worship with the kids. It becomes a powerful experience each week. 

When I evaluate kid's church, I ask myself these two things: Were my visitors excited about it? Did my kid's worship? I teach a Bible story. I make a kid's sermon. I want every kid every time they come to our church to hear God's word. I know though in a large group setting, they will not get the best discipleship they can get. They will not be mentored by leaders the way every kid needs to be. Kid's church is just a grabber. It is a place where we can teach worship. If you only bring your child to that one thing, they will not get the big picture. They are sitting down for a complete breakfast and only eating the Fruit Loops.