Keep Your Joy, Don't Punch Your Cousin!

Periodically in Kid's ministry, you think of a personal story that totally fits the lesson that you are trying to teach. You tell it to the kids, and they only remember the funny parts of the story. I know some kids heard the main idea. I know some missed it but it was a message that I needed to be reminded of and a message many kids need to hear and learn. I felt like I needed to blog about it this week.

As a kid, I had to be 9 or 10 years old, we would go to my grandparents farm in East Texas for holidays. It was and still is one of my favorite places to visit. I am truly blessed to have grandparents still alive and able to be examples for us and my kids. Like any kid, we have cousins that we treat like our siblings. Sometimes, even with our siblings, you can only handle them in doses. I am sure their are people in my family that feel this way about me too. Well, this cousin of mine was just being annoying for the entire week of Christmas. As I remember, she tattled on me for stuff. She was always bragging about how stuff she had was better than what I had. It was non stop for the entire time I was there. As a kid, you really have no way to just get away. There was no, let me get in the car and drive away. I don't remember what the straw was that broke the camel's back but I do remember the result. I walked into my Grandmother's formal living room. Held my hands behind my back. I said, "guess what, I have a present for you". She walked close and I turned and laid a right hook across her left cheek. It was the only time in my life, I ever sucker punched anyone. It was the only time I ever hit a girl, other than one of my sisters. All I knew, was craziness ensued. My Aunt ran to her daughter as she yelled at me. She said something about previous health problems. My grandmother just chuckled because she had seen my patience wearing thin. My mom gave me the don't hit girls speech. It was the first time I ever got in trouble but not really. It was a crazy event in my life. 

I told the kids that I had 3 things they needed to learn from that story. First, never hit a girl. Second, never sucker punch anyone.  Several of the kids only remembered that I punched my cousin in the face. The point was the third thing I talked about. The third thing had to do with shepherds and joy and Christmas. Well,  Luke 2 retells the night of the first Christmas and the great scene the shepherds experienced. They got done and they were not going to let anything keep them from experiencing the joy of seeing Jesus that night. How often do we let things through the holidays take away our joy. Family members that we get to much of, busy-ness of the season, or different strained circumstances can keep us from being joyful. As a kid,  I let my aggravation with my cousin get to me and I lost my cool and my joy that holiday. This year, don't do that. Jesus is good news that brings great joy. It is a joy that is bigger than your annoying family members. It is bigger than the guy that just cut you off trying to find a parking spot at the mall. It is a joy that everyone needs. Don't miss it because you are watching sheep. Don't miss it because someone takes it from you. Don't miss Christ's joy for anything. 

Kid's Church Altar Times

We started our series in Kid's Church yesterday on Thanksgiving. We talked about being thankful before God did something. Told the story in Daniel 2. We talked about how we control our decisions but God controls our situations. I told them we can trust God in all situations because he is in control. We need to thank God because he is always going to do us right. Then, I asked the kids if they had something they were praying for like a unsaved family member or friend. I had them respond for prayer to give thanks for things they believed God was going to do. We had 20-25 kids respond. They came filing out of the bleachers and I told the rest of the kids if they had friends down they could come pray for them too. We had about 40 kids in the altar praying for the next 20 minutes. There is something special seeing kids praying for other kids. I know in many situations, "Altar" time is lost because of time or small groups or many other reasons. Altar times are important to the spiritual growth of kids and the church in general. 

Salvation, healing, baptism in the Holy Spirit, forgiveness, and any number of other supernatural things can happen in an altar setting. I see it happen at camp every year. I see it in our kids church all the time. Altar times teach kids three major things though. 

1. It is okay to pray for someone. 

I try and specifically tell kids that worship time is between them and God. So often, kids will start hanging or hugging on each other during worship songs. We tell them all the time that isn't the time for that. That time is designed for them to sing to God themselves corporately. If we don't create altar times for kids then they never understand the importance of laying hands on someone as they pray for somebody. 

2. It creates a community.

It is impossible to get mad at someone when you have to turn around and pray for them. We want to create communities inside our church. Altar times where kids pray for kids can create that. Many times, kids will let barriers down to pray for others. Kid's that may have thought no one cares about them will completely change their minds when someone prays for them. 

3. It teaches intercession. 

It is important to create times where kids are not rushed through a prayer. Times to cry. Times to wait on the Lord. Create times to sit in the Lord's presence. Way to often our prayers for meals and even in service for offering or service opening become robotic. Intercession becomes lost on kids in this instant gratification society. 

Many times pastors are bad about saying something is important to them but never take valuable time to put toward it. I believe kids innately understand this. My own kids understand they are important because I take time for them. The kids in our kids church will pick up on that too. We must find times to allow the altar time for kids or it will be lost on this generation and that would be a shame. 

The Thing That Struck Me Most This Weekend

This weekend had so much going on I really had a hard time writing about it. Friday night, we had a great "Festifall".  We moved everything outside. It was a great, the best attended Halloween event since I have been at 1st. Saturday, I competed in my first Crossfit Competition, the Power Output Challenge. It was so much stinking fun. I need to work on rope climbs but I did come in 6th in one of the events. It is so much fun to be apart of that community. Sunday, we had a great group of kids and Kid's Church ran smooth. Ate lunch with some friends that were here visiting from out of town. Then, Sunday afternoon I attended the funeral of one of our former staff members. That funeral struck me most today as I contemplated my weekend. 

Pastor Cecil was our visitation pastor when I moved to SanAntonio. Since he has been sick the last few weeks I have thought of the different times we spoke. I always really appreciated his wisdom in staff meetings. I knew when I spoke in Bible Study if he complimented me it really meant something. I won't ever forget teaching in Adult Bible Study and him looking at Opal during my closing prayer and telling her to turn her phone off because it rang. 

I was struck yesterday though not by my memories, they are very special to me. I was struck by the heritage his family presented at the funeral. His granddaughter spoke of ministry and his sons spoke of his relationship with Christ. If anyone ever says generations are not effected by the witness of parents and grandparents they are truly mistaken. I knew Pastor Cecil lived it. His kids and grandkids knew that too. They knew when they needed prayer they could call him because he had a direct line to God. They understood when he spoke, he understood the will of God.

I pray my kids know that of me. I pray my children know the moment struggles come they can come to me for prayer. I pray that my family sees me as a light. I hope that when I am older I can look at the generations of my family and they see me as a real follower of Christ. I think that's the important legacy for anyone. Thanks Pastor Cecil for being such an example even after you reached your goal, heaven. 

Not The Conversation I Thought I Would Have In A Duggout

I have coached youth sports for years. I coached kid's basketball before my son was old enough to play. Honestly, I enjoy it. I get to hang out with kids. I love coaching my son's teams, too. I have always been sitting on the bench or in the dugout. I have wrote on this blog about how I love just playing catch. Well, sitting there with kids can create great opportunities not just as a parent but as a Christian. 

Sitting in a dugout with a group of kids you hear many different conversations. You have many different conversations. You try your best to keep it about baseball. Consistently telling kids to keep their heads in the game. It is inevitable though, you will have conversations about farts, TV shows, stupid pranks, and just about any other topic 10 year old boys live for. I had an unexpected conversation the other day in the dugout that wasn't anything normal.

It was the top of the 2nd inning and our team was in the field. We have 12 players on our team so each inning 3 of our boys have to sit on the bench. I was sitting talking to one of our boys about keeping his head down and stepping towards the pitch as he swung his bat through the strike zone. He told me that he has had a problem with that for a while and that his Dad used to work with him by putting a bat behind his foot. Then, he explained that he hasn't worked on that since his Dad passed away last winter. I was caught off guard. We talked for a few minutes. I was on the verge of tears. He told me where he went that day. He spoke about being brave. He told me everything that happened. I told him if he needs to talk then feel free anytime. The inning ended. I went back to coach third base and we didn't talk about it anymore. The thing is, he knows I will talk with him. He feels safe talking to me. This isn't one of my kids from church. This is a kid that may never walk through the doors of my church. I still get to be a Christian influence in his life. I get to be his coach. 

It is important that we find places for us to speak into kid's lives. It is important that we put ourselves into situations where we can be Christian influences in kid's lives. Coaching gives me that. Coaching gives me an opportunity to create a witness to kids outside of the four walls of our church. I can mentor kids that have nothing to do with our church. It is important that you find places to speak into peoples lives that aren't from your church. It is important that as parents, kids pastors, or even Christians that we put ourselves into places where we can speak hope and life into kids. I want God to use me not just as a Kid's pastor but as a Christian that can set an example for others. 

Why We Do What We Do.... Small Groups (Part 2)

I remember being 9 or 10 and sitting in my Sunday School class in Houston. The teacher was talking about how they had just got a dog. She started talking about how cute it was and all kinds of stuff. I think she was just telling us a story. She didn't know that my dog had died that week. It may have been a few weeks later but recently my dog had died. I remember bawling like a baby. That Sunday School teacher, bless her heart, didn't know what happened. I do remember her staying after class and talking to me and praying with me about my dog. It meant more than she will probably ever know. That couple were awesome Sunday School teachers and I am still a fan of theirs. They did small groups for kids the way they should be done. 

As a kid, you don't realize you are going to small groups. Really, I don't think many adults realize it either. We attended Sunday school. We showed up for Royal Rangers. They were just things that we did. We had a few boys in our class. Every once and a while we would go on a campout or have a field trip. We did sword drills (races to see who could find scripture the fastest). We quoted memory verses for candy. We heard Bible stories. We found stuff on the maps in the back of our Bibles. We looked in the concordance for different scriptures. We asked questions. We prayed for each other. Small groups taught us what it means to be a church family. Our small groups should be a lot like that still. 

We have two different kinds of small groups at our church, Sunday School and Clubs. I know these are traditional. Many churches won't do them because they are "traditional". I know that if they are done right they can be effective. You don't think so, come visit. Each small group has a different purpose in our ministry. Sunday school is a just that discipleship for kids. Royal Rangers and Mpact Girls are mentoring/ gender specific ministry for our children. They both are needed to have a balanced kid's ministry. These are the ministries that are for our kids. They are the ministries where kids are able to go beyond basic stuff. They are able to ask questions and do hands on stuff. It isn't kid's church where that is designed for visitors. 

Sunday School classes are designed to be age appropriate. If it is a preschooler it should be hands on stuff. They learn from playing with stuff and short lessons. If it is an older kid it should be discussion and reading. They are emergent readers in older elementary. Kids should be challenged to get into their Bibles and find stuff. This is why we do JBQ and Bible Study classes during this same time. We want our kids to know certain things when they go to Student Ministry. This is only possible through a small group discipleship. 

Royal Rangers and Mpact Girls ministries are for mentoring kids. Everyone needs someone of the same gender to look up to. I can think of different Rangers Leaders/ Commanders that I worked with as a kid they were big influences on me growing up. I know the commanders I have now are the same to my church kids today. They teach things about being young men of God and our ladies share about being young women of God. No where else can guys be guys in a class. It is important for each gender to have this. I have said and will continue to say, "Badges don't matter, mentoring boys and girls that is why we do this." It amazes to see kids come in excited about these classes. It isn't about camping or crowning. It is about the leaders we have connecting with our kids.

I know many feel these programs are dated or you may not see have the logistics to do them. I can tell you this, if you are going to be effective as an entire children's ministry then you will have small groups that have both of these functions. Our leaders and parents have bought into these programs and that is why they are successful. We still have about 70% of our Sunday morning kids attend Sunday school. We also have larger attendance on Wednesday for our Clubs than we do for both services on Sunday. 

I have to evaluate these ministries differently than Kid's Church. Sunday School, I want to keep the attendance a high percentage of my Kid's Church kids. I want to see kids excited about learning scripture in these classes. I want to see relationships being built with leaders of my clubs. I want to see stuff happening outside of the classroom too. Relationships may be built in classes but solidified outside of the classes. I should see numbers on Wednesday larger than my Sunday numbers. Wednesday nights, I don't have split family kids that miss every other week gone one weekend or the next. These are the classes for our church kids. They are designed for that. If you are a parent and only bringing your kids to Kid's church you are missing out on these other valuable times. Small groups are for everyone but if we just expose our kids to a main service we are limiting our ability to partner with parents in the discipleship process of a child. 

Why We Do What We Do (Part 1)

Being intentional is super important. So often, we do stuff because it is what we have always done. We do stuff just because with no real apparent reason. It hurts our effectiveness. Every once and a while, we need to really sit back and evaluate all the aspects of our ministry. Make sure we know why we do what we do. We have 3 major ministries in our Kid's Ministry and each has a very important role. Over the next couple of posts, I want to share why we are doing what we are doing. Each has a reason. Each has a purpose. You may look at the stuff we do on the surface and say some of it is old fashioned. I know we do them for a reason. 

The first thing we do is Kid's Church. Kid's Church has a couple of very significant purposes. When I began in Kid's Ministry, my view of it was much different. I was confronted by a friend that attended another church who could not understand why you would want to have church without your entire family (I run into the exact opposite opinion of many people now). I remember at that point in my career responding to her by saying, if my Pastor wants to talk about sex or adultery it makes that sermon much easier without 6 year olds asking questions. That was never more evident than the time when a previous pastor I worked for asked why none of our families were coming back to church on Sunday nights. I remember talking to several of my leaders and encouraging them to join us for church on Sunday evenings. I told them, "It will be a great experience! You can worship with your kid" That of course was the night my pastor was talking about the end times and shared that the AntiChrist would be Pervert. I hear the question behind me, "What's a pervert?" The last time that family came on a Sunday night. Over the years, my reasons for doing Kid's church have evolved and become more defined than protection from a potty mouthed senior pastor. Kid's Church has a two real focuses and we try to plan them with these things in mind. 

First, we want to create an environment for the visitor. I want to make Kid's church a place Kid's want to return. We play games. We sing songs with fun motions. We tell Bible stories in fun ways. We tell jokes. We act silly. In planning kid's church, I want it to be a place where kids want to come back every week. I have to remember this is not where we are mentoring. I have to remember this is not where we are discipling. We are being evangelistic in our thinking. I want kid's to be able to bring their friends and know they have a chance to meet Jesus for the first time any week they come. Kid's church is for the visitor. I want that kid to tell his parent, I want to come back next week or I'll miss something huge. The thing is, if the visitor wants to come back and sit in a room full of kids he doesn't know yet then your regular kids will want to be back too. If you are creating an environment that is fun and exciting for the visitor then you will have less discipline issues because everyone will be having a great time. Kid's Church is for the visitor. 

The Second reason we do Kid's Church is to teach kids how to worship. Since kid's in most churches have been banished from the sanctuary with the decline of Sunday night worship and creation of Sunday night programming for kid's ministry, they rarely worship with parents. Kid's church is our opportunity to explain why we raise our hands. We can teach the importance of losing distractions by closing our eyes. Kid's can learn that worship is a time between them and God. That as they sing songs to God, he truly is pleased with that. In classes and small groups you rarely have the resources available to teach worship adequately. In Kid's church, I can teach these things and worship with the kids. It becomes a powerful experience each week. 

When I evaluate kid's church, I ask myself these two things: Were my visitors excited about it? Did my kid's worship? I teach a Bible story. I make a kid's sermon. I want every kid every time they come to our church to hear God's word. I know though in a large group setting, they will not get the best discipleship they can get. They will not be mentored by leaders the way every kid needs to be. Kid's church is just a grabber. It is a place where we can teach worship. If you only bring your child to that one thing, they will not get the big picture. They are sitting down for a complete breakfast and only eating the Fruit Loops. 

What is Family?

Over the last couple weeks, I have been bombarded with this question in my own heart. I spent last week, my vacation with 36 of my family members at another epic Wickert Family Reunion. It was great watching my kids get to hang out with cousins they never really get to see. I loved spending time with my Grandma. Doesn't get any better than that. The beach was great and it all was fun. 

I came back on Friday and had some of my kids visit from Cleburne. They really aren't kids now. These boys were my boys. When they were in elementary school, I ate dinner with them every Wednesday and we shot videos for Kid's Church announcements. Our "Sunday Morning Update" videos were always fun. I was so proud to see how they are becoming great men of God. They are also becoming very tall. Actually, they already became tall. I had such a great time with those guys being here this weekend. I think they are just as much a part of my family as anyone. (You too Ms. Teresa, you are the best). 

Sunday, just as our evening service was beginning, I received a Facebook message on my phone. One of my kids from Kid's Church was contacting me. He was one of those kids you wonder where he is years after you leave the church. I remember when I was sitting in my office and his grandma called to tell me they had to put him in a mental hospital as a 10 year old. I cried that day. He was contacting me to say thanks for believing in him and loving him. He is doing really well now and is about to start college this fall. He said, when he had bad or sad days he would think back to being in Kid's Church with us and remember it will always get better. That message filled my heart as if it was one of my own kids. 

Last night, I got to go spend the evening with some dear friends of ours, the Steele's. We were celebrating Caleb's "gotcha day". They celebrate the day the adopted Caleb into their family from China. We had dinner at Ghengis Mongolian Grill and ate cake in the restaurant. It was a great time. I thought more about family. Moments like that are meant for family, but we were there.  

See, I don't know if it is because my parents opened our home to so many different people when I was a kid. Shoot, any college kid that came through our church growing up ate at least one meal at our house. So many different other friends that spent the night because it was just easier to stay with us. I don't know if it is because we moved around and our actual blood relatives were in so many different places, but my family has always been bigger than just my cousins. 

I have been blessed to have so many people that I love like family. I couldn't imagine going through life without these people. Come to think of it, they are my family. They have almost all been my church family at some point. I can't imagine going through life without these people that are my church family. I have so many kids that are growing up that I get to call mine, because they sat in my kid's church. I have so many families that I love because they treated us like family. How does anyone go through life without a church family? It has to be lonely. I know there are so many other support systems out there. Things like coworkers and workout buddies and even neighbors will be there in times of need. I will take the people I have served and served with at church any day. They are my family. They are the ones, I get to spend eternity with worshipping our God in Heaven one day. It will be an awesome time. My family is more than just those people I saw at that reunion last week. My family is people I have worshipped with through my life. My family is huge!

My Love Hate Relationship

Certain things in this world can be very frustrating but you still love them. They can make you angry but you can't imagine your life without them. You want swear them off, but you couldn't go a day minus their greatness. Today, I want to proclaim my "Love/Hate Relationship".  I have a "Love/ Hate" Relationship with socks.  Yes socks!

First of all, I love wearing socks. They keep your shoes from stinking. They absorb all that nastiness for you. In the winter time, they keep my feet warm. They don't help Margaret to much, as soon as the temperature is below 80 she starts putting her ice cold feet on my legs. They help me stay warm. The right pair of socks keep you comfortable on a run.  A colorful pair of socks can be a great fashion statement. The wrong pair of socks can be a great laugh (usually at some old guys expense). Socks are great!

Then, I find myself hating socks. I don't know wear I lose sock singles. Is it the dryer? Is it my kids' drawer? Do they disintegrate like a communication to Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible? Who knows? I do know that I have bought a slew of running socks over the past couple of years and I am down to 3, none of which match. On Sunday morning, I go to church early. I usually get dressed in the dark and try to let my wife sleep. Like my running socks, my dark color socks never have a match. I usually end up grumbling, dumping the drawer of socks out on the bed, turning the light on, and starting my day off frustrated. Even if I match them up when before I put them in the drawer, at some point they get separated. Are socks like characters in "Toy Story" as long as we are not looking they move around and have lives all their own?

I went to buy socks last night. I know that I have small feet for an average adult. I am 5'6". It would be stupid if I wore a size 10 shoe. I would look like Peggy Hill or Fred Flintstone. The problem is they usually only have one size adult sock, 6-12. How do they expect a size 6 person (I am an 8 1/2) wear the same size sock as a size 12 person? You end up with this crazy sock pleat sticking out of the back of your shoe. It is really frustrating. So, I can either go buy socks in the women's section (which always incorporate some sort of pink) or I can go buy them in the boys section (which almost always incorporates some sort of super hero). Ugh! Why do I feel like I must always wear socks!?!

It is a true "Love/Hate Relationship". I love to wear socks, but I am so frustrated with you right now socks. I am glad it is flip flop season.

Leading From Ahead

A great game all of us have played with kids one time or another is follow the leader. You walk around with your arms out like a bird. You hop around like a frog. You make funny noises to be what ever it is that you want the kids to do. It is fun.  The point is as kids are doing that, they are following the decisions you make. You can't play follow the leader and be behind them. You can't tell them to act like a bird after they are already acting like monkeys. Anything you lead, you must learn to lead from the front to be effective. This doesn't mean you have to be the guy up front talking. It does mean you need to make the decisions where the people you are following are going and what they look like. 

First, you have to decide what you want things to look like. In our families, do you want your kids to be athletes? Bible scholars? Nerds? or whatever. You lead them by creating places for them to love those things. I have a twelve year old daughter, she won't get her head out of a book. My wife wanted to pass down the love of reading to her so as a toddler she read to her a lot. If you want ministry to be fun for kids then you create avenues for fun in your ministry. If you want to create community you create opportunities for community. Leading ahead means you dictate what you want it to be. 

All to often, I see people that allow situations and circumstances to dictate where they lead. You lead from behind in those situation. Leading from behind in your family is a problem because it allows your children to dictate your mood and who they become. It drives me crazy to hear parents always yelling "NO" to their toddlers. Tell them what you want them to do. You leave a breakable trinket on the coffee table, it is your fault. You are creating a problem. Tell your child, "play with this". Move the item some place else. 

In your ministry, when you constantly allow situations to make you create new rules or policies then you are leading from behind. You can't allow a one time situation dictate policy. The more we create rules and policies that we have to dictate to our kids the more we lose the opportunity for kids to step up and do the right thing on their own. I am not saying go ruleless. I am saying create ministry that kids can succeed at managing themselves. Keep them interested. Keep them engaged. Keep them worshipping and the rules that you need followed will happen. Lead kids don't dictate rules. 

Do They Get It?

I spent the last couple of weeks at Family and Kid's Camp. Had a blast. God moved in the lives of so many kids this week. It was great. It is always so cool to see how God can move in so many unique ways at camp. That is a different blog than this one today. It will probably be next week actually. A couple from our church came and served with us at camp this week. They were wanting to come because their daughter was going to have her first camp experience. Their daughter has "special needs". She is great. I love this kid. She walks into kid's church like any other kid. She sings the songs and does the motions. She listens more attentively than almost any kid I have in Kid's Church. I was excited she was going to get to experience camp with us. 

Last night, as our kids were praying in the altar, her mom came up to me and asked if I could explain to her daughter about Jesus. She didn't think as much as she had heard about Jesus and spiritual things that she gets it. I called the little girl over and asked her some questions, mostly got "yeah" answers. It was sweet. I never got a real long answer from her. She never really gave me a long answer to any open ended questions you ask kids to see if they get it. (What did Jesus do? Who is Jesus? How do you get to Heaven? etc.) I prayed with her when I was done talking. Her Mom sat there as I was talking to her just listening intently. 

The Mom and I sat and talked for a few minutes after I prayed with her daughter. Her concern, "Does my daughter get it? Does she truly understand all this stuff?" I know this kid, I have seen her worship. She listens to me speak every Sunday. Does she truly get all the concepts of faith? I don't know, but do any of us really ever truly get it. I know so many Biblical concepts that I still shake my head and want to ask Jesus about when we get to Heaven. 

I do know that Romans 10: 17 says, "Faith comes from hearing the message. And the message that is heard is the word of Christ." I know she hears but does she understand? I believe on her level she does. I know that we all have different capacities for learning. I believe our faith and our understanding should coincide with that. In her case she may not cognitively get every abstract topic that goes along with spiritual understanding but if I ask her, "Do you love Jesus?" Her answer is, "Yes".  

All this for me to say this, I never thought about parents with special needs kids wondering, does my kid get it. I never considered the questions of some of these parents who look at their sweet children and wonder will they get it enough to spend eternity in Heaven. I can imagine them being concerned about physical well being and educational ability. It just hit me like a ton of bricks though as I heard this Mom concerned for the spiritual understanding of her kid. Let me put it like this, if you are telling them about Jesus, reading God's word to them, and taking them to church to hear God loves them, then yes they get it. They get it in their own special way. God loves them just as much and probably more then any other kids out there. To all parent's of special needs kids, pick your chin up God loves you and your child and wants you to know that he loves them too. 

Sports Camp Ponderings

This week we tried our Mega Sports Camp off campus. It was a great week. Here at the church we are very limited on what we can do just because we don't have big fields. I found a park with fields for soccer and football. It has black tops for basketball. We put the cheerleaders in a clearing and brought mats for them (on the days it didn't rain) and had the preschoolers at picnic tables. It was a great event. The Texas heat was pretty good to us (a couple of the kids may not agree with that). The kids that came all seemed to have fun. It just makes me think. 

As a young Pastor, I was always trying to do stuff that got people on campus. I did and still do a fall festival. I do Easter egg hunts. I have done VBS and other events at church like concerts and such. The thing I was wondering was do people know what those things are?

I noticed as I tagged people in pictures and saw pictures on Facebook from the week that people asked what is VBS? I had people that came up from the neighborhood and ask what we were doing? We invited them to join us. I was very proud of members from our team that talked to people in the neighborhood. Do people in the Post Christian Era still know what we are doing as a church? 

Do they see the church as a refuge for hurting or just another building? I think we have to create events like the one we did this week where we are seen by people who don't know what we are doing. We go on mission trips and we go to other areas many times to help out, but the church is becoming a building that people see and not a place that people can come find peace. I think in the day we are in we have to create opportunities to represent the church outside of our church to reach the lost, even kids. It is sad but we are quickly coming to an age when kids won't know what Sunday School is or many of the church standards that were commonplace in our vocabularies. We have to do things outside to draw people inside. 

I don't like being told what to do...

My son Cooper was mowing the yard the other day.  This Summer it is exclusively his gig. I have let him help with sections in the past but mowing has been officially added to his list of chores. Bill or I will go out and watch him or check for some missed spots as he is mowing, but I am trying to let him learn how take care of the yard. The first week he was mowing, I watched him just go all over the yard making more turns than and curves than a trip going up the side of a mountain in Colorado. I looked at him and said, "Son, you have to mow straight or you are going to miss some sections". He quickly respond with, "Dad, I am not the kind of guy to go in a straight line".  I didn't know if I should laugh or if I should whip his behind. I just shook my head, chuckled, and told him he was gonna have to go back and fix his spots he misses because he doesn't go in a straight line. I think there is part of that in all of us though. We like to change who we are or go against the flow just because we don't want to be told what to do. 

The Washington Redskins may lose millions of dollars just because they won't change their name. (Thanks to the US Patent office revoking some of their patent.) Daniel Snyder, the Redskins owner, from what I can tell won't change mainly because he just doesn't want to be told what to do. He wants to make a point. He doesn't want to go in the straight line like everyone else. He is gonna have to pay some for that but he seems to think it is worth it. 

Honestly, I think Cooper comes by his dislike of going in straight lines honestly. I don't really like being told what to do. You just have to understand their are always consequences to not going with the flow. You have to work harder for one. It may cost you something. In Coop's case he had to go back over some spots he missed. In the Redskins case, I am already printing out Redskins Suck T-Shirts and don't have to worry about paying for the right to print them. (Just Kidding but I know someone has already started that)

The good thing about not going with the flow or doing it your way, you may end up finding a new better way to do something. You may make a stand for something whether it be good or bad. We do have to understand God has place spiritual authority over us to keep us going the right direction but we have to understand who that is and when that is applicable. David understood that Saul was in authority over him as king so he spared his life but you can't say that he did everything Saul asked him to do. He was more interested in what God had called him to do. 

As a parent, we need to understand the fine line between our kids being human and rebelling them trying to understand how things are supposed to be done. None of us really like being told what to do. Sometimes, we have to let them learn that straight lines are better. 

Communicate...Don't Strike Out!

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. 

James 1: 19-20

I was coaching my son’s baseball team when I looked at a child (not my son) right before he went to bat and said, “Don’t swing right away because the pitcher hasn’t thrown a strike this entire inning”. He looked at me and replied, “My mom is getting us pizza for dinner”. The boy walked up to the plate and swung at his first three pitches.  I don’t think he heard what I was saying. He had other things on his mind. He wanted to tell me what was on his mind instead of listening to my instructions. In families, our attempts at communication are many times just white noise in the background. 

Be quick to listen. The key to communication is listening. We can say stuff all day long it is just talking to ourselves until someone is listening. So often, we find ourselves looking at someone but never truly connecting with what they have to say. In families, if we don’t truly listen it leads to arguments. Lack of communication leads to confusion. Bad communication leads to striking out in three pitches. 

Take time out. Focus on each other. Listen to what each other has to say. Kid’s, your parents know what they are talking about. Parents, your kids want to hear about your day. Spouses, share your hopes. Communicate with each other it helps things go run better. 

What not to do if I ever became a Senior Pastor...

I want to begin this by saying, "My Pastor generally does "NOT" do these things". 

When I was an intern, the Pastor I worked with told me to keep two files in your drawer that had nothing to do with the things that are general working files. One file was for "Thank You" notes. I keep that file in the back of my drawer right in front of my file of comic books. If I have a bad day or ever think that I am doing a poor job or feel like I am not getting through, then I go to that file. It makes my day to see parent's and kid's notes. To me, that file is priceless. The greatest pick me up and inspiration I could possibly have is in that file because it reminds me of what God has done through the ministry I have done. The second file I keep is a file of things I would never do as a Senior Pastor (or at least I would hope I would never do). These are things that may deal with staff relations, leadership style, sermon types, etc. I was talking with a couple of other Kid's pastors and other guys and felt inspired to share some of my big time never do's. I want to add, I have no plans of ever becoming a "Grown Up" Pastor. It is just not something God has ever given me the desire to do. 

Associate Pastors Can Not Save A Situation

Don't hire staff as a "Hail Mary Pass". If you are Pastoring a church in any situation, It rises and falls with God first but leadership will always affect the situation. I don't believe God has called every church to become a mega church. I do believe God has called every church to be a healthy church where people are getting saved regularly. I do believe God has called every church to be doing something of purpose. If your church is struggling to grow, don't put stress on it by hiring extra staff to see if that can get you out of a slump. Hiring staff can seem like a great way to excite people and spread the load of responsibility. It can also add stress to an already stressful situation. It is kind of like a family I knew once that couldn't pay their bills, neither of the parents worked because of disabilities, and yet they still kept popping kids out like no bodies business. They couldn't feed the ones they had but they just kept having kids.

Most likely if you are struggling you are stressed and that probably isn't the greatest environment for any young pastor. Let's be honest if that is your situation, you are hiring a young guy. You are not going to be able and find an established associate that knows how to ask questions and what to look for in a healthy situation. Young pastors need to be in situations where they can get wins. If their salary is strapping their budget (what budget? in most cases) they will be worried about so many other things mainly surviving  than getting wins. 

Hire staff because your church is ready for it. You have easy wins for them to come into. It is hard enough starting at a new church. It is hard enough creating ministry in a new church. Hire someone because God has blessed your church, and you are ready to enable them to do a great job. 

Forced Praise is as good as False Praise

A pastor, I once worked for, would ask everyone periodically to share a good thing about different staff members during staff meetings. It was always awkward. We would go around the table and people would be searching for things to say. Some people, you really wanted to say, "Um that person can suck it".  Most of the time, you could come up with something. Even if it was something like, "he wears deodorant". Like any office, even churches with staffs their is usually someone people just tolerate. I am sure I have been that guy before. You don't want to be told, "hey say something nice about them". Generally, you come away thankful but you can also come away asking the question, "What did they mean by that?" 

Praise was meant to be spontaneous. It was meant to be genuine. If you create an environment of praise as a leader, you don't have to force it. If you have good things happening, you don't have to force praise in a meeting. Send notes, give pats on the back in public and in private, and call people in your office to tell them, "good job". Those are things that create an environment that is positive. If you only talk to your staff when things are business or bad then you create a workplace that isn't healthy. You want guys that lift each other up, lift your staff up. 

America Is "Not" in the Bible

This isn't a staff issue as much as it is a preaching issue. I sit through about 10-15 minutes of my pastor's sermon each week during first service. As a kid's pastor, I have to create opportunities to get fed. It is definitely one of the "cons" of the job. I listen to lots of different preachers through podcasts and different means. I have heard sermons about many different topics. I have decided interpreting the Bible is not the easiest thing in the world. Even with tons of different concordances, commentaries, research, study Bibles, and books you can still screw it up. It is why education is so important. Everyone, America is "NOT" in the Bible. We are not Israel in the old testament. We are not found in the book of Revelation. We are not even in the apocrypha. I hoped to find Texas, but it was missing in there too. I might be able to claim Texas as Eden but the angels did not keep us out. 

Please don't preach that America is God's chosen people. At this point, the church is God's chosen people. If you have asked Jesus into your heart, you are found in God's covenant. Scriptures given to the Hebrews were for certain situations. You need to take the time and figure out what those situations were about. You can not cherry pick them and create a new meaning for the scripture because we are in America. Likewise, to say anything that is prophetical and you know for sure it is talking about the good old USofA you are mistaken. God had a promise to keep with Abraham. He doesn't have that with our country. We can use those scriptures for application but make sure you take the time to understand the situation it is written for. I want God to bless our country and I support our country but I also want the Bible interpreted correctly and not so someone can get a few "amens" on a Sunday morning. 

I have a whole list of other things. I don't know why I felt the need to share these today other than talking with some guys and felt they were appropriate for the time. 

A Circle of Easter Lessons

Obviously, I spend a lot of time thinking about how to teach kids about Easter each year. After you have been in children's ministry for several years you have taken all kinds of different approaches to teach the Easter story. I have used scenes from the Resurrection Eggs, The movie ET, live plants, stuffed animals, candy wrappers, and tons of other illustrations to teach about this week in Jesus life. This week, I was thinking about all the different themes from the different stories of Holy Week. As I put the different stories together the themes of the week turn around in a circle. Let me show you how. 

It all begins with the story of Jesus triumphal entry or Palm Sunday. The theme of that being Jesus deity. Follow that by the story of the Last Supper. It's theme is remembering. Gethsemane teaches us the importance of prayer. Jesus' arrest teaches us the necessity of turning the other cheek even in the most dire of times. The scene of Jesus and the criminals on the cross shows grace in action first hand. Jesus death is the greatest show of love. Jesus resurrection brings it back to a complete circle by showing the entire world that Jesus is not just a teacher but he is God and king. 

I want to remember that in all the stories of this week that it begins and ends with Jesus being our God and King. We sing about him being our friend and we remember what he has done. We want to follow his examples in prayer and life. Yet, I don't ever want to forget he is our God. He is the King of Kings. 

What I learned from a game of catch.

In the afternoons after school, if the weather is nice and we are not rushing off anywhere, I take Cooper outside and throw a baseball with him. Some days we just stay out there till we are tired. Some days we set goals like we will go in once we make 100 throws or catch 50 pop ups. It just depends on what we feel like. 

Over the years, this game of catch has developed. It has changed because at first it was us just trying to catch the ball. Now, it is just a couple of guys throwing the ball. Talking about their day. I don't spend my entire time talking to him about how he is throwing. I don't spend the entire time talking. I listen to him. It has turned into something special for me. No television, no Wii, no Minecraft, no friends, and no homework to distract him from the attention that I get. We talk about his day. We talk about what he did at lunch or recess. We talk about what his friends did. He tells me more while we are playing catch than he ever does at the dinner table or watching tv. I have his full attention. In fact, he mentioned not playing baseball this year because basketball has been such a stretch for him. I quickly came up with tons of reasons for him to play. I needed a reason to have him go out and play catch with me. It has truly become something special to me. 

I was preparing a lesson the other day to talk about how important quiet times are. I realized that God appreciates our quiet times like I appreciate playing catch with my son. Think about it. We lose all of our distractions. We give our full attention to our heavenly father. We tell him about our needs. We tell him about our lives. We even listen to him during that time. As much as I covet that game of catch, God must truly covet that time we spend with him. I am sure he is disappointed if we skip it. I pray that I never disappoint him. I know you wouldn't want to disappoint him either. Find some time today. Spend some quality time with our great amazing wonderful loving God. 

Make A Friend Today

I have always told my kids every morning when they get dropped off or leave the house, "I love you, be good, and work hard". If there are things I want them to know everyday it are those three things. They are important. Every kid should know that their Dad loves them. They should know that the expectation daily is to be good and work hard. I know it is simple but I want my kids to hear that every single day. I have added something to that here lately. I have been telling them, "Make a new friend today." I was thinking a couple of weeks ago about friends and how you can really never have to many.

One of the things that I do that my wife just shakes her head at (trust me there are many) is talk to any kind of service people that I deal with waiters, cashiers, basically anyone with a name tag that I deal with. Actually, I really wish everyone in the world wore a name tag. I would call everyone by there first name. It is fun to me to talk with people. It makes my day to say something silly or talk to them with some meaning. How many times a day does someone just call them, "hey you"? It is the least  I can do, call them by name. Talk to them like a person. Isn't that what Jesus did with everyone?

He came up to Andrew, Peter, James and John. He called out to them as perfect strangers. He talked to Phillip and Nathanael the same way. Time and time again Jesus made strangers his friends. He talked to anyone that was close by. Women at the well, tax collectors, and pharisees all had great moments of conversation with Jesus. Do we think we are to good to talk to people? Do we think we are to busy? Are we scared they are going to dump their problems on us? Are we scared we may make a new friend?

I think all to often in Christian life we get stuck in a bubble. When my wife was a student at Baylor, we joked about how students would walk across the street and not pay attention because they were safe in the "Baylor Bubble". We get stuck in our church friend bubble. It may be a small group you have at church. It may be just a few of your friends. It may be some people that you work with, but we miss out on relationships that could benefit our lives because we  don't stop and talk to people. I hope I don't ever become to busy or prideful or stuck up to make a new friend. If given the opportunity today,  make a new friend. Find out someone's name. Ask God to put someone new in your life. You can never have to many friends. You will never be able to meet all 7 billion people on the Earth. You might as well get to know as many as you can. You might learn something from someone. You might get an opportunity to share Jesus with someone. Make a friend today.

I almost forgot

Prayer is a really easy concept for all of us but so many times, I think we get distracted and take it for granted. I have had a couple of different theories on prayer as I have been in life. I don't think either is wrong but over the years I have tried to employ both. 

When I was in high school, I prayed like a crazy man. I would put Christian metal on in my walk man and call down fire from Heaven for hours. I couldn't do anything before I went through this process. It was like Ray Lewis yelling at his team before a game. I am sure there was a dance and a scream that accomypanied it. It worked for me. 

When I was in college, I worked with a guy that changed my opinion a lot. We went and did a kid's service and he just kinda chilled. He was sitting around relaxing, I think he may have been drinking coffee. I remember asking, "Are we gonna pray?" He just looked at me and calmly said, "I prayed for this for the last week, I am good. You are welcome too." I remember being confused thinking so what am I supposed to do? I don't drink coffee and I have to move around. I have never been one to just sit. Especially when I have a little bit of nervous energy. Praying all crazy had been a way to distract me and prepare me, but I didn't feel like I could just go and pray if the guy I was working for and helping was just gonna sit there and drink coffee. I think just the nervousness and confusion caused me to sweat through my deodorant. Of course, it may have just been because it was hot? Who knows? It makes sense though, if I spend time praying in preparation for something, I shouldn't need a special prayer time before a service. So, I actually kind of developed that as a way of doing things for a few years. 

A few years later, I was volunteering at a church as a preschool leader. The pastor at the church had a big preservice prayer time. Basically, a bunch of guys, some of the church staff, and a handful of prayer warriors would go in a prayer room and pray before every service on every Sunday. It was cool. The pastor even invited men in the church to come pray with him during that time. I was honored because I was just a young guy who he asked and I never even actually went to a Sunday morning service because we were always helping with the kids. I began to notice a few things though. I prayed for my service with the kids during the week and if I missed that I didn't think it was a big deal. I would only miss it on Sundays where stuff got busy or if we were running a little late. I noticed as definite difference in my time with the kids. If I didn't pray, something was going to go wrong. The kids would be hyper. Johnny would punch Trevor. Sally would glue the craft to her face or worse her new dress. It would always be something. Sunday's where I made sure starting my day with prayer was a priority stuff went smoother. Or at least it  seemed that way. I made sure that I got there early enough to pray. I made prayer a priority on Sunday mornings before my service time. 

Over the years, I have kept that prayer time. It has developed into a personal prayer time, usually about 6:30 or 7 on Sunday morning in my office. I still pray throughout the week for my services, my volunteers and leaders, the kids and the parents that will be at our church. It still amazes me though how if I get busy or distracted from prayer I am not in the right spot that day. I think you have to have both prayer before a service and during the week. Can we ever really pray to much for something? 

Just saying, don't forget to pray. It is easy. We all have things going every single day. I hope you are taking time to pray for things coming up. I also hope you are praying for the Holy Spirit to be with you in whatever things you have going. Meeting, evaluations, tests or whatever can be things to pray for. It may even be easier if you are just praying daily any how. Just don't forget about prayer. It does make a difference. 

What is that?

So many times out of necessity or laziness or who knows what, we find ourselves using things in ways they are not meant to be used. Such as...

1. A straw as a toothpick

2. A wall as a back scratcher

3. A piece of paper as a toothpick

4. Anything as a pillow

5. A pen as a toothpick

6. Fingernail clippers as scissors

7. A fingernail as a toothpick

8. A book as something to prop a table

What can I say, I get things stuck in my teeth a lot. The point being we find ourselves using these things and getting a job done but it probably isn't the most productive way to get that job done. (You would think I would just buy a box of toothpicks and stick them in my truck or desk at work.) 

Jesus was talking to his disciples in Matthew 16 and said, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?” They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?” Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven.  And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” Then he ordered his disciples not to tell anyone that he was the Messiah.

The simple answer to the question, "Who do you say Jesus is?" It is very important to how we live our life. Our actions and priorities can tell what our answer really is. Our answer to this question is seen by the what we do and how we talk. The answer to this question can be told by our levels of stress. It is something that should be understood by our every day life. 

If we say Jesus is God, then we read our Bibles and pray. If we say he is the messiah then we go to church and tell others about him. If we say he is the one true God we find time to worship him daily. 

If he is just a prophet or John the Baptist then going to church and praying is a waste of time. If he is just a man who lived a long time ago then the Bible is just a history book. Sometimes, we end up using Godly things in ways that they were not meant to be used. The Bible just becomes another read. Prayer becomes meditating. Church becomes a social gathering. None of those things are bad but they are not what God intended them to be. 

Because Peter understood this and proclaimed this, God decided to make him the foundation of his church. I hope in this new year that you stop and proclaim this not just by your words but by your actions and all the things in your life. Ask yourself, "Who is Jesus to me?" Ask it daily.