Communicate...Don't Strike Out!

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. 

James 1: 19-20

I was coaching my son’s baseball team when I looked at a child (not my son) right before he went to bat and said, “Don’t swing right away because the pitcher hasn’t thrown a strike this entire inning”. He looked at me and replied, “My mom is getting us pizza for dinner”. The boy walked up to the plate and swung at his first three pitches.  I don’t think he heard what I was saying. He had other things on his mind. He wanted to tell me what was on his mind instead of listening to my instructions. In families, our attempts at communication are many times just white noise in the background. 

Be quick to listen. The key to communication is listening. We can say stuff all day long it is just talking to ourselves until someone is listening. So often, we find ourselves looking at someone but never truly connecting with what they have to say. In families, if we don’t truly listen it leads to arguments. Lack of communication leads to confusion. Bad communication leads to striking out in three pitches. 

Take time out. Focus on each other. Listen to what each other has to say. Kid’s, your parents know what they are talking about. Parents, your kids want to hear about your day. Spouses, share your hopes. Communicate with each other it helps things go run better. 

What not to do if I ever became a Senior Pastor...

I want to begin this by saying, "My Pastor generally does "NOT" do these things". 

When I was an intern, the Pastor I worked with told me to keep two files in your drawer that had nothing to do with the things that are general working files. One file was for "Thank You" notes. I keep that file in the back of my drawer right in front of my file of comic books. If I have a bad day or ever think that I am doing a poor job or feel like I am not getting through, then I go to that file. It makes my day to see parent's and kid's notes. To me, that file is priceless. The greatest pick me up and inspiration I could possibly have is in that file because it reminds me of what God has done through the ministry I have done. The second file I keep is a file of things I would never do as a Senior Pastor (or at least I would hope I would never do). These are things that may deal with staff relations, leadership style, sermon types, etc. I was talking with a couple of other Kid's pastors and other guys and felt inspired to share some of my big time never do's. I want to add, I have no plans of ever becoming a "Grown Up" Pastor. It is just not something God has ever given me the desire to do. 

Associate Pastors Can Not Save A Situation

Don't hire staff as a "Hail Mary Pass". If you are Pastoring a church in any situation, It rises and falls with God first but leadership will always affect the situation. I don't believe God has called every church to become a mega church. I do believe God has called every church to be a healthy church where people are getting saved regularly. I do believe God has called every church to be doing something of purpose. If your church is struggling to grow, don't put stress on it by hiring extra staff to see if that can get you out of a slump. Hiring staff can seem like a great way to excite people and spread the load of responsibility. It can also add stress to an already stressful situation. It is kind of like a family I knew once that couldn't pay their bills, neither of the parents worked because of disabilities, and yet they still kept popping kids out like no bodies business. They couldn't feed the ones they had but they just kept having kids.

Most likely if you are struggling you are stressed and that probably isn't the greatest environment for any young pastor. Let's be honest if that is your situation, you are hiring a young guy. You are not going to be able and find an established associate that knows how to ask questions and what to look for in a healthy situation. Young pastors need to be in situations where they can get wins. If their salary is strapping their budget (what budget? in most cases) they will be worried about so many other things mainly surviving  than getting wins. 

Hire staff because your church is ready for it. You have easy wins for them to come into. It is hard enough starting at a new church. It is hard enough creating ministry in a new church. Hire someone because God has blessed your church, and you are ready to enable them to do a great job. 

Forced Praise is as good as False Praise

A pastor, I once worked for, would ask everyone periodically to share a good thing about different staff members during staff meetings. It was always awkward. We would go around the table and people would be searching for things to say. Some people, you really wanted to say, "Um that person can suck it".  Most of the time, you could come up with something. Even if it was something like, "he wears deodorant". Like any office, even churches with staffs their is usually someone people just tolerate. I am sure I have been that guy before. You don't want to be told, "hey say something nice about them". Generally, you come away thankful but you can also come away asking the question, "What did they mean by that?" 

Praise was meant to be spontaneous. It was meant to be genuine. If you create an environment of praise as a leader, you don't have to force it. If you have good things happening, you don't have to force praise in a meeting. Send notes, give pats on the back in public and in private, and call people in your office to tell them, "good job". Those are things that create an environment that is positive. If you only talk to your staff when things are business or bad then you create a workplace that isn't healthy. You want guys that lift each other up, lift your staff up. 

America Is "Not" in the Bible

This isn't a staff issue as much as it is a preaching issue. I sit through about 10-15 minutes of my pastor's sermon each week during first service. As a kid's pastor, I have to create opportunities to get fed. It is definitely one of the "cons" of the job. I listen to lots of different preachers through podcasts and different means. I have heard sermons about many different topics. I have decided interpreting the Bible is not the easiest thing in the world. Even with tons of different concordances, commentaries, research, study Bibles, and books you can still screw it up. It is why education is so important. Everyone, America is "NOT" in the Bible. We are not Israel in the old testament. We are not found in the book of Revelation. We are not even in the apocrypha. I hoped to find Texas, but it was missing in there too. I might be able to claim Texas as Eden but the angels did not keep us out. 

Please don't preach that America is God's chosen people. At this point, the church is God's chosen people. If you have asked Jesus into your heart, you are found in God's covenant. Scriptures given to the Hebrews were for certain situations. You need to take the time and figure out what those situations were about. You can not cherry pick them and create a new meaning for the scripture because we are in America. Likewise, to say anything that is prophetical and you know for sure it is talking about the good old USofA you are mistaken. God had a promise to keep with Abraham. He doesn't have that with our country. We can use those scriptures for application but make sure you take the time to understand the situation it is written for. I want God to bless our country and I support our country but I also want the Bible interpreted correctly and not so someone can get a few "amens" on a Sunday morning. 

I have a whole list of other things. I don't know why I felt the need to share these today other than talking with some guys and felt they were appropriate for the time. 

A Circle of Easter Lessons

Obviously, I spend a lot of time thinking about how to teach kids about Easter each year. After you have been in children's ministry for several years you have taken all kinds of different approaches to teach the Easter story. I have used scenes from the Resurrection Eggs, The movie ET, live plants, stuffed animals, candy wrappers, and tons of other illustrations to teach about this week in Jesus life. This week, I was thinking about all the different themes from the different stories of Holy Week. As I put the different stories together the themes of the week turn around in a circle. Let me show you how. 

It all begins with the story of Jesus triumphal entry or Palm Sunday. The theme of that being Jesus deity. Follow that by the story of the Last Supper. It's theme is remembering. Gethsemane teaches us the importance of prayer. Jesus' arrest teaches us the necessity of turning the other cheek even in the most dire of times. The scene of Jesus and the criminals on the cross shows grace in action first hand. Jesus death is the greatest show of love. Jesus resurrection brings it back to a complete circle by showing the entire world that Jesus is not just a teacher but he is God and king. 

I want to remember that in all the stories of this week that it begins and ends with Jesus being our God and King. We sing about him being our friend and we remember what he has done. We want to follow his examples in prayer and life. Yet, I don't ever want to forget he is our God. He is the King of Kings. 

What I learned from a game of catch.

In the afternoons after school, if the weather is nice and we are not rushing off anywhere, I take Cooper outside and throw a baseball with him. Some days we just stay out there till we are tired. Some days we set goals like we will go in once we make 100 throws or catch 50 pop ups. It just depends on what we feel like. 

Over the years, this game of catch has developed. It has changed because at first it was us just trying to catch the ball. Now, it is just a couple of guys throwing the ball. Talking about their day. I don't spend my entire time talking to him about how he is throwing. I don't spend the entire time talking. I listen to him. It has turned into something special for me. No television, no Wii, no Minecraft, no friends, and no homework to distract him from the attention that I get. We talk about his day. We talk about what he did at lunch or recess. We talk about what his friends did. He tells me more while we are playing catch than he ever does at the dinner table or watching tv. I have his full attention. In fact, he mentioned not playing baseball this year because basketball has been such a stretch for him. I quickly came up with tons of reasons for him to play. I needed a reason to have him go out and play catch with me. It has truly become something special to me. 

I was preparing a lesson the other day to talk about how important quiet times are. I realized that God appreciates our quiet times like I appreciate playing catch with my son. Think about it. We lose all of our distractions. We give our full attention to our heavenly father. We tell him about our needs. We tell him about our lives. We even listen to him during that time. As much as I covet that game of catch, God must truly covet that time we spend with him. I am sure he is disappointed if we skip it. I pray that I never disappoint him. I know you wouldn't want to disappoint him either. Find some time today. Spend some quality time with our great amazing wonderful loving God. 

Make A Friend Today

I have always told my kids every morning when they get dropped off or leave the house, "I love you, be good, and work hard". If there are things I want them to know everyday it are those three things. They are important. Every kid should know that their Dad loves them. They should know that the expectation daily is to be good and work hard. I know it is simple but I want my kids to hear that every single day. I have added something to that here lately. I have been telling them, "Make a new friend today." I was thinking a couple of weeks ago about friends and how you can really never have to many.

One of the things that I do that my wife just shakes her head at (trust me there are many) is talk to any kind of service people that I deal with waiters, cashiers, basically anyone with a name tag that I deal with. Actually, I really wish everyone in the world wore a name tag. I would call everyone by there first name. It is fun to me to talk with people. It makes my day to say something silly or talk to them with some meaning. How many times a day does someone just call them, "hey you"? It is the least  I can do, call them by name. Talk to them like a person. Isn't that what Jesus did with everyone?

He came up to Andrew, Peter, James and John. He called out to them as perfect strangers. He talked to Phillip and Nathanael the same way. Time and time again Jesus made strangers his friends. He talked to anyone that was close by. Women at the well, tax collectors, and pharisees all had great moments of conversation with Jesus. Do we think we are to good to talk to people? Do we think we are to busy? Are we scared they are going to dump their problems on us? Are we scared we may make a new friend?

I think all to often in Christian life we get stuck in a bubble. When my wife was a student at Baylor, we joked about how students would walk across the street and not pay attention because they were safe in the "Baylor Bubble". We get stuck in our church friend bubble. It may be a small group you have at church. It may be just a few of your friends. It may be some people that you work with, but we miss out on relationships that could benefit our lives because we  don't stop and talk to people. I hope I don't ever become to busy or prideful or stuck up to make a new friend. If given the opportunity today,  make a new friend. Find out someone's name. Ask God to put someone new in your life. You can never have to many friends. You will never be able to meet all 7 billion people on the Earth. You might as well get to know as many as you can. You might learn something from someone. You might get an opportunity to share Jesus with someone. Make a friend today.

I almost forgot

Prayer is a really easy concept for all of us but so many times, I think we get distracted and take it for granted. I have had a couple of different theories on prayer as I have been in life. I don't think either is wrong but over the years I have tried to employ both. 

When I was in high school, I prayed like a crazy man. I would put Christian metal on in my walk man and call down fire from Heaven for hours. I couldn't do anything before I went through this process. It was like Ray Lewis yelling at his team before a game. I am sure there was a dance and a scream that accomypanied it. It worked for me. 

When I was in college, I worked with a guy that changed my opinion a lot. We went and did a kid's service and he just kinda chilled. He was sitting around relaxing, I think he may have been drinking coffee. I remember asking, "Are we gonna pray?" He just looked at me and calmly said, "I prayed for this for the last week, I am good. You are welcome too." I remember being confused thinking so what am I supposed to do? I don't drink coffee and I have to move around. I have never been one to just sit. Especially when I have a little bit of nervous energy. Praying all crazy had been a way to distract me and prepare me, but I didn't feel like I could just go and pray if the guy I was working for and helping was just gonna sit there and drink coffee. I think just the nervousness and confusion caused me to sweat through my deodorant. Of course, it may have just been because it was hot? Who knows? It makes sense though, if I spend time praying in preparation for something, I shouldn't need a special prayer time before a service. So, I actually kind of developed that as a way of doing things for a few years. 

A few years later, I was volunteering at a church as a preschool leader. The pastor at the church had a big preservice prayer time. Basically, a bunch of guys, some of the church staff, and a handful of prayer warriors would go in a prayer room and pray before every service on every Sunday. It was cool. The pastor even invited men in the church to come pray with him during that time. I was honored because I was just a young guy who he asked and I never even actually went to a Sunday morning service because we were always helping with the kids. I began to notice a few things though. I prayed for my service with the kids during the week and if I missed that I didn't think it was a big deal. I would only miss it on Sundays where stuff got busy or if we were running a little late. I noticed as definite difference in my time with the kids. If I didn't pray, something was going to go wrong. The kids would be hyper. Johnny would punch Trevor. Sally would glue the craft to her face or worse her new dress. It would always be something. Sunday's where I made sure starting my day with prayer was a priority stuff went smoother. Or at least it  seemed that way. I made sure that I got there early enough to pray. I made prayer a priority on Sunday mornings before my service time. 

Over the years, I have kept that prayer time. It has developed into a personal prayer time, usually about 6:30 or 7 on Sunday morning in my office. I still pray throughout the week for my services, my volunteers and leaders, the kids and the parents that will be at our church. It still amazes me though how if I get busy or distracted from prayer I am not in the right spot that day. I think you have to have both prayer before a service and during the week. Can we ever really pray to much for something? 

Just saying, don't forget to pray. It is easy. We all have things going every single day. I hope you are taking time to pray for things coming up. I also hope you are praying for the Holy Spirit to be with you in whatever things you have going. Meeting, evaluations, tests or whatever can be things to pray for. It may even be easier if you are just praying daily any how. Just don't forget about prayer. It does make a difference. 

What is that?

So many times out of necessity or laziness or who knows what, we find ourselves using things in ways they are not meant to be used. Such as...

1. A straw as a toothpick

2. A wall as a back scratcher

3. A piece of paper as a toothpick

4. Anything as a pillow

5. A pen as a toothpick

6. Fingernail clippers as scissors

7. A fingernail as a toothpick

8. A book as something to prop a table

What can I say, I get things stuck in my teeth a lot. The point being we find ourselves using these things and getting a job done but it probably isn't the most productive way to get that job done. (You would think I would just buy a box of toothpicks and stick them in my truck or desk at work.) 

Jesus was talking to his disciples in Matthew 16 and said, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?” They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?” Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven.  And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” Then he ordered his disciples not to tell anyone that he was the Messiah.

The simple answer to the question, "Who do you say Jesus is?" It is very important to how we live our life. Our actions and priorities can tell what our answer really is. Our answer to this question is seen by the what we do and how we talk. The answer to this question can be told by our levels of stress. It is something that should be understood by our every day life. 

If we say Jesus is God, then we read our Bibles and pray. If we say he is the messiah then we go to church and tell others about him. If we say he is the one true God we find time to worship him daily. 

If he is just a prophet or John the Baptist then going to church and praying is a waste of time. If he is just a man who lived a long time ago then the Bible is just a history book. Sometimes, we end up using Godly things in ways that they were not meant to be used. The Bible just becomes another read. Prayer becomes meditating. Church becomes a social gathering. None of those things are bad but they are not what God intended them to be. 

Because Peter understood this and proclaimed this, God decided to make him the foundation of his church. I hope in this new year that you stop and proclaim this not just by your words but by your actions and all the things in your life. Ask yourself, "Who is Jesus to me?" Ask it daily.